Al Gore at the Bat

With Apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer

It looked extremely rocky for the Democrats that day.
Al Gore was really loosing and it was Election Day.
So, when the first count failed and the second one did the same,
A pallor wreathed the brows of those in the election game.

A straggling few got up to go, leaving there the rest,
With that hope that springs eternal from within the human breast.
For they thought, if only Boies could get a whack at it.
They’d bet even money if Demos read each ballot.

But there were courts to keep them from each and every dimple,
And certainly Katherine Harris would not make things so simple.
So, on that stricken multitude a death-like silence rested,
For it seemed Albert Gore’s minions would likely soon be bested.

But courts allowed those dimples, to the wonderment of all.
And three Democratic counties could determine it all.
And when the dust had settled and they saw what had occurred,
Democrats could read ballots, no matter how absurd.

Then from that gladdened multitude went up a joyous yell.
It bounded from the mountaintop and rattled in the dell.
It struck upon the hillside and rebounded on the flat —
For Democrats saw dimples on each and every ballot.

There was ease in the lawyers’ manner as they stepped into place.
There was pride in manipulation of the election race.
And then, responding to the cheers, they lightly doffed their hats,
My goodness they even kept out military ballots.

Liberals still worried. Votes came in at too slow a rate.
No need to fret. Just extend the certifying date.
And when the new votes did not the election tip,
Defiance glanced from Gore’s eyes, a sneer curled Gore’s lip.

And now Judge Sauls’ verdict declared what was fair.
There will be no more votes pulled out of thin air.
To the Florida Supreme Court Gore’s lawyers sped.
By seven Democrats this Supreme Court was led.

“Fraud!” cried the maddened Liberals, and the echo answered, “Fraud.”
But in one frightful decision the populace was awed.
The Florida Supreme Court was Al Gore’s best friend.
The Demos knew the court would start the count again.

The sneer was gone from Al Gore’s lip. His teeth were clenched in hate
As the US Supremes decide to judge the court of state.
And now the grand lawyers make the case to the mighty nine.
The air is tense with the question, “What will the judges find?”

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout.
But there is no joy for Liberals. Al Gore has lost out.

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